TAT Forum

A reader wrote that what would make the Forum more interesting would be:

Hearing from people who are searching—and have questions instead of those providing endless advice and "answers." What challenges they are facing. What their doubts and questions are. How they perceive their path is going. What they are doing in their lives. Where they think they will end up. Etc., etc.

Can you help make the Forum more interesting?

The Reader Commentary question for this month is:

What will make you happy?

Thanks to Brett S. for this question, about which he said: "Bob C. asked this, I'm not sure if he was being 100% serious, at a TAT weekend, and I remember being surprisingly stumped at not having an answer that satisfied me."

Responses follow:

From Patrick K:
I want to be beyond my reactory self/mind. I want to transcend all relative mind/body movements such as: inflations/deflations, superiority/inferiority, good/bad, right/wrong, shame/pride, doing/not doing, in control/being controlled, fear/courage, excitement/depression, feeling of value/feeling not of value, etc. I want to love myself unconditionally. I hear a lot of therapies say that you need to show yourself compassion and to give yourself plenty of self-love, but that is impossible when identified as the body/mind individual self and only leads to vanity, gluttony, distraction and escaping reality. [Douglas] Harding speaks about the face that I grafted on as a child, I took my third person view of myself and grafted it on to my original face. I want my original face, my innocent face back. I don't just want to intuit and glimpse it, I want a permanent version of it. I want my true identity to infiltrate my being in a full, total and final way. A final way such that I will no longer have any more questions to be answered about it. I don't see any other solution to freeing me from being subject to the relativitity of my current existence.

From Lennys3Cents:
Forgetting my vector and falling-back-to-sleep.

From Adam S:
My life is going spectacularly well right now, so much so that I’m still in shock. So after we last spoke years ago I went back to uni, graduated with a 1st class masters degree in mathematics, qualified as a teacher and became a maths teacher, then last year I left the profession (never going back unless they reverse decades of poor standards) and now I’m a private online tutor getting paid 3X what I was paid as a teacher and teaching one on one pupils who want to learn. It’s nice to be praised every day for being good at your job rather than being gaslighted and told you’re not up to standard because someone higher up with power over you wants to justify their own role and further their own career. That’s a totally toxic culture. Now I work for myself I’m finally free (on this mortal plane at least :) ). I’m about to take my job on the road and travel throughout Europe staying in hotels and doing my job in cafes seeing all the places I’ve always wanted to see.

That brings me nicely on to happiness. I think what makes anyone happy is actualising their potential and being praised for doing a good job at the thing you are good at (whether naturally good or through training). I think you could have all the money and fortune in the world but if you haven’t striven to accomplish anything you wouldn’t feel happy you would feel like you were being led by the world and not taking charge of your own destiny. But that’s me. Perhaps others would feel happier knowing they were following orders to the best of their ability (some people do seem to prefer to follow others’ instructions rather than create their own instructions for themselves and I can see how that could make them happy, but only if they were again actualising their potential and doing the best job they could and getting praised for it). I’m sure there is more to happiness than that but I think that’s the most basic foundation. I’m not sure it’s possible to be happy if you aren’t doing well what you were designed to do, whatever that might be for different people.

From Sonia C:
Years back, that would have been a much easier and fun question.
Similar to what would you do if you win the lottery?
Or I could simply answer: "My children's happiness is my happiness."

For too long I believed happiness had nothing to do with me. But rather something to do for other people ... so I can be happy.
The idea that we can't be happy until someone we love (more than us) is happy (ier).💁‍♀️
An impossible task that fails miserably. No wonder why it had nothing to do with me.

Happiness:
- implied something that comes at a cost   - something to gain   - the result of a miracle   - freedom   - something to do   - to sacrifice for   - to pretend we have   - a tool   - required for survival   - something to give   - the purpose of life   - heaven.

At this point, I can only answer with more questions: What is happiness? Why isn't it permanent, what would happen if it becomes permanent, is it even real?

Perhaps happiness is nothing but a feeling. That is always there, like the wind. But we can only acknowledge when it comes with stuff.

Maybe I am more into experiencing Joy, if there is a difference.
I find joy in gratitude, nature, (I have a thing for birds singing and flying!), in the opportunity to experience life and live like an explorer, realizing that letting go of the pursuit of happiness sets me free.

So I guess happiness has nothing to do with me after all and is not my problem to solve.💁‍♀️

From Shawn Nevins:
The end of the need for happiness.

From Rob H:
In short I am always happy, or better stated: there is always happiness. Nowadays there is a background of happiness that is always here. Before 2012 I, Rob, was sometimes happy and most of the times not.

The change occurred in 2012. At a certain point I noticed a change which I could not comprehend. I was feeling very well, a vacation-like-feeling, well after my last vacation had ended. In the midst of normal life, running a company and a household with wife and 2 kids, that was odd. Something had changed and at first I couldn’t figure out what.

I started a natural logical inquiry as to what had changed. It led me to the conclusion that the absence of self-made suffering had resulted in an overall Happiness. I could also see that I had been addicted to thinking my whole life and that this thinking was not of my own making and that these processes of thinking and feeling were pretty autonomous. I could take a ride in the carnival and be identified with these thoughts and feelings, or I could just as well just observe them and let them be. Happiness hasn’t gone away since.

There is no thing that makes me happy. There is no thing that makes me unhappy, except maybe the occasional time I ‘accidentally’ or ‘habitually’ identify with the experience happening. But as soon as there is a hint of suffering I realize the foolishness and it stops before it really began.

If I knew how this came about, I would have written a book by now. But to be honest, there is nothing I did that caused any of this. In the years prior I did ‘let go’ of some stuff and the real fighting suffering had ended, but there is no real marker to be found, or act that ‘did the trick’. It doesn’t feel like an achievement or a reward of any kind.

To me it feels quite normal, and I must remind myself sometimes that others do not feel this kind of happiness in normal life. And in case you are wondering, I am not enlightened and I have no final answer to my existence or the world.

I am still mystified by everything happening, and somehow there is a sense that this is not the end. So, I keep on looking and turning over every stone, meanwhile realizing how futile this all is. Because I know there really is no problem, so why keep looking for a solution? It almost seems hardwired in the system. At least I can be a friend on the path this way.

From Tess Hughes:
I started thinking about this question by Googling the word “happy”. Here’s the first thing that came up.

What are the 4 types of happiness?

• Happiness level 1: Laetus. Happiness from material objects. ...
• Happiness level 2: Felix. Ego gratification. ...
• Happiness level 3: Beatitudo. The happiness from doing good for others and making the world a better place. ...
• Happiness level 4: Sublime Beatitudo.

Turns out it was Aristotle, master of categorising everything and anything who had come up with this notion. Most of the other sites I looked at referred back to this article, assuming, I am sure that Aristotle was a wise and profound thinker.

Other than material or ego gratification there were ideas attributing the various levels of happiness to chemicals found in the body such as dopamine and oxytocin and serotonin.

A website says about the fourth level of happiness: true happiness at the fourth level may be found through art, philosophy, science, spirituality or religion.

All these ideas remain within the physical or mental dimension of the human organism.

Another website describes the highest level of happiness as living to do good for others and to improve the world. These are the notions that underpin most of what is offered as spiritual teachings in the world. But, here in TAT we focus on something which is beyond the relative world, beyond art and religion and science, beyond spirituality itself.

We seek the uncovering of The Absolute within each of us and it is this “happiness”, for there is no correct or definitive word for it, which alleviates us of the need for what is usually interpreted as happiness. In contrast to The Absolute, the happiness that is dependent on satisfying our desires for various conditions and situations and so on takes a back seat.

The happiness of which I speak comes from finding our innermost core, our source. It is the happiness that is beyond good and evil, right and wrong, having and not having, beyond all dualities. This “Happiness” is possible for everyone but as the Dalai Lama says, it is not automatically given, we must find it within ourselves.

From Kevin S:
I think the question is unanswerable as written. Perhaps it should read ”What do you think, or believe will make you happy?” Because, until it happens, there is no way to “know.”

You may theorize that attaining certain conditions would make you happy. Or that the removal of certain conditions or obstacles would do so, but until it comes about, it is just that - a theory. For example, you might assume that the absence of fear would make you happy, only to find out that it leaves you bored to tears. How many people have believed money would make them happy, then had it turn their lives into a complicated mess.

Does peace of mind equal happiness? Perhaps. But can it be permanent? Maybe there is something that can make us happy, but until it happens, it is all speculation.

From Anima Pundeer:
The question itself suggests that I am not happy and it is some future event that will happen.

Happiness is elusive. I found that out quite early on in life. Harder I pursued, further it went. I realized that though it seemingly lay in the objects outside, it is a state within. My definition of happiness changed from it being some euphoric emotions/feelings to a solid state of equanimity.

Here is a list of my happiness triggers now:

• Bowl of soup
• Butterflies, birds, flowers, breeze, moon, small and big waves in the ocean
• Wishing happiness for the other
• Being in service of Truth
• And, of course, tuning into inner music.

From Mark W:
I don’t know how I would have answered this question a month ago, but I know it would have been very different. From what I remember, the happiest I’ve ever been was when my monkey mind seemed absent or sank far into the background, and it felt like my intuition took over without any prompting from me. It felt like it happened to me, it’s not something I did, and it was such a relief that I’ve previously described it as freedom. By the way, this kind of intuitive happiness feels like the opposite of trying to fix myself, which seems to have been my programmed default reaction to stress my whole life to make it go away, and that never works for long.

From Art Ticknor:
When I was in my late 20s / early 30s, I went through frustrating periods maybe two or three times a year where I saw that I had everything that should have made me happy, but there was something missing. And I couldn't get a clue about what that was.

I met Richard Rose when I was 33, and he "rang my bell" when he said that what we're looking for is within. That was a direction I'd never thought of. I was unhappy because I felt incomplete. When I subsequently found what I am at the center of my being, I found completion.

From Gus R:
That I will know what remains whether going to death, or going to sleep every night.

From Anonymous:
It’s a constantly moving target. Happiness seems like a function of the mind, designed to move it in a certain ways to achieve the organism’s goals. Pursuing happiness happens automatically. Interfering with that process only seems to cause problems. The search seems to be about pursuing something beyond happiness and sadness, something that is Stable, and At Rest. Perhaps that might bring on satisfaction and relief, and such, which are related to happiness, or perhaps it might not, but that seems to be besides the point.

From Dan G:
The human brain is not built for happiness, it’s built for survival. Happiness is a carrot at the end of a stick the brain can’t hold onto. I will never have the happiness I want. Sadness is a pretense I’m important, too. Who is stuck watching this roller coaster experience?

From Hermann Hesse:
Happiness is a how, not a what. A talent, not an object. [-Ed.]

Q: What are your thoughts on this month's reader commentary? Please your feedback.

Richard Rose described a spiritual path as living one's life aimed at finding the meaning of that life. Did you find anything relevant to your life or search in this month's TAT Forum?

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Founder's Wisdom

Richard Rose (1917-2005) established the TAT Foundation
in 1973 to encourage people to work together on what
he considered to be the "grand project" of spiritual work.

Jacob's Ladder © 2001 Richard Rose. See this transcript of a talk on the topic by Rose.

Homing Ground Update … A spot on earth where people can do retreats and hold meetings; where the emphasis is on friendship and the search. April 2023: We're now 4% of the way to meeting our 2023 fundraising goal of $15,750, most of which donations came from our stalwart monthly contributors. Thank you! As a reminder, below is the list of needs and goals for the TAT Center for 2023. Some of these can be accomplished by stopping by the TAT Center and lending our caretaker a hand. Others need funding. Sand and refinish back porch. Build roof over back porch and steps on the West side. Install 4 additional posts ground to ceiling for more support for the 3-season room above. Additional electrical circuit installed for the Rose Room. Additional gravel on driveways. Repair and preventive maintenance of one 3-season room sky light. Improve chimney flashing on roof. Add/improve insulation above the end 1-person bedroom and the wall separating it from the 1-car garage. Install media filter capability for first floor furnace which should help all allergy suffers. $450 estimate on 3/22. Some kind of AC for all three rooms on the third floor. At least three space heaters for the third floor. A window AC and a space heater for the 3-season room. A stick vac to vacuum the stairs. Potential Future Projects (i.e aspirations!) A cabin for isolation retreats The "octa-pavilion"—a large, detached meeting room located in the woods behind the house A covered patio extending off of the house Thanks to all of you for making TAT the extraordinary organization it is. Sincerely, Shawn Nevins PS: Monthly contributions are a great way to support the TAT Center if making a larger one-time donation seems too much. If you're so inspired, click the Donate button below, then check the box for "Make this a monthly donation" as in the example below: Let's bring this to life! "The job is upon us," Richard Rose said, "and it is worthwhile." To contribute to the TAT Center, mail a check made out to the TAT Foundation to: TAT Foundation PO Box 3402 Roxboro, NC 27573 Big checks, little checks, all are welcome. Or use the PayPal link above (though we lose 2.2% of your donation to PayPal fees). * See photos and more on the Homing Ground page. * In friendship, Shawn Nevins on behalf of the TAT Trustees

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