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The TAT Forum: a spiritual magazine of essays, poems and humor.

November 2022 / More


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Convictions & Concerns

TAT members share their personal convictions and/or concerns

special...normal


Special—Just Like Everyone Else


In my work as a therapist, there is a kind of psychological illusion that I see frequently, and that I’ve then tried to look out for in myself as well. It has to do with a false idea around the sense of specialness, and the ways we tend to ask ourselves if we are unique or special, or if we are “normal” (i.e. just like everyone else).

I believe this is a false dichotomy, and that we are kind of both at the same time. We are special, just like everyone else.

Here’s how it seems like the illusion works:

Imagine that there are a variety of ways to be a person, like a variety of types. For example, the Myers-Briggs personality test says there are 16 types of people. The Enneagram says there are 9 types.

For the sake of this illustration, let’s say there are 10 types, with an even distribution between the types—10 different ways to be a person, each type with its own strengths, anxieties, talents, and flaws, and with 10% of the population falling into each type.

If I were a Type-1 person and became aware of my unique Type-1 anxiety (let’s say Type-1 people get anxious about their appearance), I might look around me and think, “Why does no one else seem to be anxious about their appearance like I am? There must be something wrong with me!” This creates the sense that we are negatively unique in our anxiety.

In one sense, this perception is accurate. If there are 10 types of people, then a Type-1 person is going to look around and see that 90% of people don’t get anxious about the same thing as them. From their perspective, they tend to be the only one in the room with anxiety about their appearance. They’ve got a pretty good chance (90%) of not running into anyone with the same anxieties, making it seem like they are totally unique. And they kind of are—they have a different anxiety than 90% of others do.

But in another sense, this perception of uniqueness is not accurate at all. It’s not that those other 90% don’t have anxieties. They just have anxieties about different things. In other words, having anxiety about something is totally normal and not unique at all. Type-2’s have their own unique Type-2 anxiety (let’s say, anxiety around making mistakes). Type-3’s have their own unique Type-3 anxiety (like anxiety about feeling stuck or confined). And the same goes for all the other types.

In a room of 10 people, each of a different type, every single one of those people can have the same experience of looking at everyone else and thinking, “Well they don’t seem anxious about this thing I’m worrying about. There must be something wrong with me.” But if every single one of these 10 people is thinking this, then it’s not a unique experience at all.

The same thing goes for positive experiences of uniqueness in the recognition of our positive traits. We may recognize the unique strengths we have as our type, look around the room and think, “No one else seems to be able to do this thing that I can do so easily. What’s wrong with them? I must be special.” It may be accurate that no one else in the room has that same strength, but every single person in the room could be having the exact same thought in reference to their own unique strength that comes with their type. To have some strength turns out to be a completely normal and not unique experience.

So in the end the question of whether we are unique and special or if we are normal and just like everyone else is a false question. It’s possible to be both unique and normal at the same time. We are special, just like everyone else.


native birds


~ Thanks to Ben R. Images from Wikimedia Commons of 1) European bee-eaters (Merops apiaster) with dragonflies, near Kondor Tanya, Kecskemét, Hungary, and 2) native birds from 1899 book Our Native Birds.

Q: Do you feel special?

Q: Do you feel normal?

Comments or questions? Please email reader commentary to the .

Return to the main page of the November 2022 TAT Forum.


TAT Foundation News

It's all about "ladder work" – helping and being helped

Local Group News

(This is a complete listing of local groups. See the main page section for just the groups with recently updated information.)


New listing for Aiken, SC:
Looking to start a self-inquiry group ... finding like-minded people to talk about Richard Rose and his teachings either online or in-person in a home setting ... to question what it means to find our true selves.
~ Email .

Amsterdam coat of arms

Update for the Amsterdam, NL Self-Inquiry Group:
The group is not holding meetings currently, but email for information.

fancy bird

Update from the Central New Jersey Self Inquiry:
The Central Jersey Self Inquiry Group welcomes serious participants. We are a small group and meet every other Sunday from 6pm to 7pm eastern time on zoom.
      One weakness of our group is that it has happened that we don’t have enough rsvp’s in order to meet. Strengths of our group are that inquiry topics are native to our own interests and that we rotate leadership of each meeting. Another strength is that we invite guests occasionally to keep our meetings fresh and productive. Here are some recent topics:
      - What is your response to uncertainty?
      - After reading a short piece on Between-ness: Does Between-ness speak to your intuition? Have you applied it/can you apply it?


Members of the NYC and Central Jersey Inquiry Groups worked together to hold a one-day retreat recently. Retreat was held in person at the Heart of Art studio in Mercerville NJ; in total 8 people participated. Activities included: what brought you here; guided meditation followed by a series of writing exercises and discussion; group meditation; inquiry based on Liberation Unleashed recording. Members felt the retreat to be valuable, and discussed possibly meeting in NYC in the near term.
~ For meeting info: facebook.com/groups/429437321740752. Questions? for more details.

tiger

Update from the Central Ohio Non-Duality Group:
The Central Ohio Non-Duality Group has continued to meet virtually during the pandemic with a group of core members. As a result, the participants now dial in beyond Central Ohio from CA, TX, MD, NC and OH. We will continue to meet virtually on Tuesday evenings at 6:30 to 8:30 PM and welcome new participants. The meetings feature confrontation sessions that are a serious effort to engage in self-inquiry with the help of friends on the path. New participants can begin by first observing the process, if they wish, to understand the purpose and nature of such efforts by like-minded seekers. The Central Ohio Non-Duality Group recently posted the meeting link to its local Meet-Up site inviting new participants. If interest is shown for in-person meetings by participants in the Central Ohio area, in-person meetings will be re-started on a second evening. ~ For further information, contact , , or . We're also on Facebook.

Irish clover

Update from the Dublin, Ireland self-inquiry group:
We meet every second Wednesday on Zoom. We are working using two different approaches. The first is the standard confrontation approach of people giving an update on what was coming for them in the previous period, in terms of their path. The second is the distribution of a piece in advance for reflection. We will continue in this vein for the time being, using either a general update or a piece for reflection shared in advance. ~ Contact for more information.


We also meet online using Google Meet at least every second Sunday. The format so far is participants will talk solo for about 5 to 10 minutes on their reactions to the meeting's given topic and then respond to questions from the others present. Information is given in the "What we are about" section of the Sunday group's Meetup main page about becoming a member, etc. The online format is good to accommodate seekers who live far apart, but the hope would be every once in a while to have in-person events. Live meetings can provide new insights that may not occur in virtual meetings and could be either via a TAT retreat or an organised event within the group. ~ Contact for more information.

email icon crystal

Update from the email self-inquiry groups:
The Women's Online Confrontation (WOC) group consists of weekly reports where participants can include:
     > What is on your mind?
     > Any projects that you want to be held accountable for?
     > Responses to a selected excerpt (in the previous report).
     > Comments/responses/questions for other participants.
     A philosophical/spiritual excerpt with two or three questions is included in each report. Based on what we share, participants ask questions to help get clarity about our thinking. The intention is to help each other see our underlying beliefs about who we are.
     One rule we try to adhere to is not to give advice or solve problems. The number of participants, to make it work efficiently, is between 4 and 7 including the leader.
We continue to have two men's email groups active. Since the beginning of the year, four participants have left and one other participant has returned. The weekly reports function like slow-motion self-inquiry confrontation meetings, which has its pros and cons. We alternate by asking each other questions one week then answering them the following week. Participants provide brief updates of highlights from the previous week and optional updates on progress toward objectives that they use the reports for accountability on.
Both the women's and the men's email groups welcome serious participants. ~ Contact or for more information.

   TAT Press publishes Anima's and Art's book: Always Right Behind You: Parables & Poems of Love & Completion.

squirrel

Update from the Gainesville, FL self-inquiry group:
We continue to meet at the Alachua County main library on Saturdays from 2 to 4 PM. We typically schedule meetings for alternate Saturdays with an occasional extra week between meetings due to holidays or the TAT meeting schedule and our group's associated retreats. We talk with newcomers about the objective of the group as a forum to stimulate the progress of self-inquirers and we ask them what their most heartfelt life-objective is, and then we usually listenen to each volunteer who want to talk and then be questioned about what they've said. ~ Email or for more information.


The Gainesville self-inquiry group is holding an intensive retreat at the TAT center in North Carolina on Nov. 13–18.

   TAT Press publishes three of Art's books: Solid Ground of Being: A Personal Story of the Impersonal, Beyond Relativity: Transcending the Split Between Knower & Known and Sense of Self: The Source of All Existential Suffering?

virtual meeting

Update from the GMT Support Group for Seekers:
We meet every Sunday gmt 18.30, live on Google Meet. Rapport and confrontation, talk and exchange. Someone mostly brings a theme, like a text, poem or whatever to set the mood. Then 10 minutes of silent rapport after which everyone gets their turn on the "hot seat" for 10-15 minutes—the group listens to what the person has to say about the theme then asks friendly questions—depending on how many participants we are. The questioning is aimed at providing material for self-inquiry. There have been sessions in which we just chatted, but that is more the exception. ~ Contact

*

The GMT support group group held a weekend intensive retreat in West Sussex, UK on Friday-Sunday, Nov. 12–13.
      On the weekend of 12-14th November a small number of people gathered for an in-person spiritual retreat in West Sussex U.K. The aim was to foster a spirit of friendship and provide a face to face retreat for TAT interested European folks with the theme of ‘Make Your Whole Life a Prayer’.
      Tess Hughes joined us via Zoom and Peter O. made a moving talk about his life and spiritual path. Freddie L. offered a very powerful guided meditation, we conducted Harding experiments, rapport, and it was a great opportunity for discussion and a deepening of friendship. We hope to run another similar retreat sometime next year.

   See "A Seeker-Organized Weekend Intensive Retreat" for feedback from participants including a poem by one of them. ~ E-mail for more details.

koi

Update from the Greensburg, PA self-inquiry group:
I am meeting every Saturday morning with three of my former Greensburg SIG group participants who are into non-dualist paths, such as Adyashanti and Mooji. There is also another participant, a professional psychologist who is interested in eastern philosphy and who wasn't in my SIG group but makes a great addition to our proceedings. These fellows are sincere seekers. We spend our time discussing our respective paths and comparing notes. Our new venue is a place called the White Rabbit Cafe in Greensburg. I'm hoping that the lull here has ended and that we're ready to be more dynamic again.
~ Contact if interested in local self-inquiry meetings.

bluebonnet

An update from the self-inquiry group in Houston, TX:
The backyard patio meetings are now moved to Zoom meetings, which take place at 4 pm on Saturdays. There are 3 active and inspired participants right now. Topics vary from Mr. Rose's writings to "What is on your mind?" ~ Contact for more information.

champaign waiter

"Ignoramuses Anonymous" blog
Ignoramuses Anonymous is for seekers to explore questions together…a fellowship of seekers for whom ignorance of the absolute truth had become a major problem. It started as a blog for Pittsburgh PSI meeting members back in 2009. Welcoming discussion on the path.
Ig Anon looks inactive again. The idea is to have a kind of seeker’s blog to process our thinking out loud and hopefully also help seekers new to group work see what we’re thinking about and if it resonates. My feeling is shorter posts in a range of 100-300 words are easier to put together and probably to read than recent 1000-word posts; however, there are no rules about it.

  • Wordpress.com free tier is starting to look like Times Square with all its ads. I think the blog needs to be hosted somewhere to really restart it, and will try first at Firstknowthyself.org. Once it's moved, then it would be great to see if it can be useful again!

    • See this post from a Four-day isolation retreat at TAT Center, with photos and YouTube clips.

    umbrella man

    Update from the Lynchburg, VA self-inquiry group:
    We have been meeting on Thursday evenings from 7pm—8:30pm, online, via zoom. Norio Kushi, Paul Rezendes, and Bob Harwood are consistent guests. We've also had some other interesting characters show up from time to time. Topics come from readings or questions brought up by our members. These are sent out, along with the zoom invitation each week. Recently we posted some "considerations" for joining our group:
    ** Try to frame your comments as questions to Norio, Paul, or Bob. Draw these questions from you own experience rather than generalities. Maintain attention and discussion on the question rather than philosophical musings.
    ** Question other participants, in the spirit of group-assisted self inquiry, but without attempting to lead them to any particular conclusion or bring attention to yourself.
    **Allow for and attend to the silence and the space that is always present. When you aren't speaking, see that as your role—to hold that space.
    **Question, in yourself, the use of personal story-telling and quoting others—though sometimes both are helpful and appropriate.
    **Consider the way in which you are listening. Does it have a quality of acquisitiveness or openness?
    **Continue to question your own intention for coming to this meeting and let that guide any comments/questions/discussion.
    ~ Please contact or if you're interested in being on the email list.

    NYC-NJ retreat The New York City and the Central New Jersey self-inquiry groups held a day-long intensive retreat in NYC on Saturday, November 9th.
    > Feedback: I liked the process of everyone getting to know each other, and seeing people that might have started off as suspicious of each other(!) at the beginning become more like friends at the end(!). We did activities related to Byron Katie's The Work, "the I and the You," and how identity is formed in childhood. Looking forward to the next one…!
    > Feedback: I enjoyed seeing how the participants came up with exercises for the group. Another item which was well done, was the development of "rules for engagement" at the beginning of the day—which helped set the proper tone for a productive day together. Enjoyed making new friends.

    dove

    Update from the New York City self-inquiry group:
    The New York City Self-Inquiry group meets by Zoom every Monday from 6-8 PM EST. You can use this link. Our format is inspired by Art Ticknor's self-inquiry retreats, giving equal time for each person to answer a spiritual, philosophical, or personal "question of the week." By asking questions, we practice being sincere and reminding one another about the great mysteries of life. More details, as well as our weekly discussion topics, are available on our MeetUp page (first link above) and via email at .

    dragon

    Update for the Online Self-Inquiry Book Club:
    The book club is now meeting monthly on Richard Rose'sPsychology of the Observer: The Path to Reality Through the Self by John Kent and will sync up with the new ProBoard book club discussion board on the Kent publication. Upcoming meeting schedule:
    > Nov. 20: John Kent Thesis Chapter 15: Jacob's Ladder
    "It is time to present what is Rose's most valuable contribution to the field of transpersonal psychology. Jacob's Ladder is the term he uses for the inner "map" he has devised as the central framework for his system of Psychology of the Observer. The term refers to the Biblical "ladder" by which Jacob ascended to Heaven. Rose claims the guidelines he provides will lead the seeker to God Consciousness, if one is determined enough to follow them out to the end. He is thus boldly testifying, from his own experience, that this ladder is not only a poetic metaphor in an old book, but an actual inner way that exists and can be traversed."
    > Dec. 11: John Kent Thesis Chapter 16: Death and Passing Through Zero
    ~ For more information on book club participation, see the meeting website (link above). TAT Forum readers are welcome to drop in any time (invitation to Sunday meetings).

    video meeting

    Update from the recently listed Online Video Confrontation Group:
    The Monday Night Online Confrontation Group is going strong with a core group of participants and room for a few more. Now meeting at 7:30 pm EST (previously at 7 pm), using the online video conference platform from Zoom. The goal of the group is to practice confrontation/group self-inquiry. ~ If you're interested, email or .
       Isaac and AJ interviewed Art Ticknor on their Plant Cunning Podcast series, where they "invite herbalists, ethnobotanists, farmers, mages, fungi experts, community organizers and all kinds of other interesting people to the microphone to share their wisdom and experiences with us": Self Realization with Art Ticknor.

    owl

    Update from the Pittsburgh, PA self-inquiry group:
    => In-person monthly meetings will resume in Pittsburgh for interested parties! Contact selfinquirer for invite.
    => Online group confrontation and individual contributions every Wed, 8:00 pm via Zoom:

  • Online group confrontation and individual contributions every Wednesday, 8:00 pm via Zoom.
    Email selfinquirer (link below) to receive invitation to monthly in-person meetings in Pittsburgh.
    - Wed, Nov 2: "What is your Spiritual Roadmap?"
    - Wed, Nov 9: Michael R. will host.
    - Wed, Nov 16: Liora N. will monitor.
    - Sun, Nov 20: John Kent's Dissertation, Ch 15: Richard Rose's "Jacobs Ladder" (can be downloaded here: https://www.searchwithin.org/johnkent/Chapter_15.html). Dan G. hosts, monthly 3:15pm EST. Link to join the meeting.
    - Wed, Nov 23: Thanksgiving Party Meeting.
    - Sun, Nov 27: Joint Dublin, Ireland Confrontation Meeting 2-4pm EST. Colm will host.
    - Wed, Nov 30: Host tbd.
  • All Forum subscribers are welcome to join us. Email to receive weekly topics with preparatory notes and Zoom invitations. Current events are listed on Meetup as Pittsburgh Self-inquiry Group (link above) and on www.pghsig.org.

    • cabin sailboat

    Update from the Raleigh, NC Triangle Inquiry Group:
    We're a small group that these days meets every first and third Tuesday of the month via Zoom. We usually have four to eight participants and new members are welcome. Except for a brief hiatus, we've been meeting regularly since the late 1990's. Our main focus is on looking at beliefs that can get us stuck in habitual ways of thinking which can limit the possibility of seeing the true nature of things. Although I act as a sort of MC in our meetings, there's no teacher or group leader and we all try to help each other in the search for the Real. ~ Email for more details.

    Morris Minor

    Update for the Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill area TAT Center:
    Bob Fergeson spent a year as resident teacher before returning to Colorado in March. Mark Wintgens continues as our chief-seeker in residence and invaluable caretaker. He is looking forward to hosting retreats and meetings for local group members as well as all TAT seekers. And TAT is looking forward to the possibility of hosting the August 2021 TAT meeting at the Center. ~ Email for information about the TAT Center.

    giraffe

    Update from the Richmond Self Inquiry Group:
    There isn't a Richmond self inquiry group at the moment…it never really got off the ground. I'm considering a few different approaches for round three, but it'll be at least a few months away before that takes form. ~ Email for information about future meetings and events.

    Bay Bridge

    Update from the San Francisco Bay area self-inquiry group:
    See the Shawn Nevins interview by Iain McNay of Conscious.tv, kicking off the publication of Shawn's book Subtraction: The Simple Math of Enlightenment. ~ Email for information about upcoming meetings and events.

       TAT Press publishes Shawn's Images of Essence: The Standing Now, which features his poems with photos by Bob Fergeson, The Celibate Seeker: An Exploration of Celibacy as a Modern Spiritual Practice, Subtraction: The Simple Math of Enlightenment, and Hydroglyphics: Reflections on the Sacred, which features his poems with photos by Phaedra Greenwood.

    flower1

    Update from the Washington DC Area Self-Inquiry Discussion Group:
    [This group was previously listed as the Rockville, MD self-inquiry group.] We've been meeting monthly at Rockville, MD Memorial Library. While the library is closed for public health reasons, we're participating more in a weekly online book club. Forum readers are welcome to participate. ~ For more information, please email or see the website http://firstknowthyself.org/virtual/.

    Downloadable/rental versions of the Mister Rose video and of April TAT talks Remembering Your True Desire:

    "You don't know anything until you know Everything...."

    Mister Rose is an intimate look at a West Virginia native many people called a Zen Master because of the depth of his wisdom and the spiritual system he conveyed to his students. Profound and profane, Richard Rose was not the kind of man most people picture when they think of mystics or spiritual teachers. Yet, he was the truest of teachers, one who had "been there," one who had the cataclysmic experience of spiritual enlightenment.

    Filmed in the spring of 1991, the extraordinary documentary follows Mr. Rose from a radio interview, to a university lecture and back to his farm, as he talks about his experience, his philosophy and the details of his life.

    Whether you find him charming or offensive, fatherly or fearsome, you will not forget him, and never again will you think about yourself, reality, or life after death in quite the same way.

    3+ hours total. Rent or buy at tatfoundation.vhx.tv/.



    2012 April TAT Meeting – Remembering Your True Desire

    Includes all the speakers from the April 2012 TAT meeting: Art Ticknor, Bob Fergeson, Shawn Nevins and Heather Saunders.

    1) Remembering Your True Desire ... and Acting on It, by Art Ticknor
    Spiritual action is like diving for the Pearl beyond Price. What do you do when you don't know what to do or how to do it? An informal discussion centered around the question: "What prevents effective spiritual action?"

    2) Swimming in the Inner Ocean: Trips to the Beach, by Bob Fergeson
    A discussion of the varied ways we can use in order to hear the voice of our inner ocean, the heart of our true desires.

    3) A Wider and Wilder Vision, by Shawn Nevins
    Notes on assumptions, beliefs, and perspectives that bind and free us.

    4) Make Your Whole Life a Prayer, by Heather Saunders
    An intriguing look into a feeling-oriented approach to life.

    5+ hours total. Rent or buy at tatfoundation.vhx.tv/.

    Return to the main page of the November 2022 TAT Forum.



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