TAT Forum
March 2018
Homing Ground Update... A spot on earth where people can do retreats and hold
|
Convictions & Concerns
TAT members share their personal convictions and/or concerns
Another Conviction Shaken
Ten years ago my attitude toward life changed drastically. Up to that time I had felt that whatever I wanted to achieve I could do so through my own effort. I acted as so. Veni, vidi, vici. That year I set out to find the absolute truth, to know the mind of God. Without further ado I went out, outside of myself. Shortly afterwards, someone said to me, "God is within." A door suddenly slammed in my face. I looked and saw nothing within, but still believed he was right! Hearing that somehow disrupted my can-do attitude. Hopelessness and helplessness ensued and lasted for years. Behind it was the new conviction that I was too small for the task, and there was no help available.
Another conviction ran parallel to the one above: the solution to my problem is in the form of an experience, a very special one. Having waited many years and it still hasn't arrived, I thought I must have been overlooking it within my field of awareness. So I sat down to parse my immediate sensations, following each one down … to the edge of experience. And that edge turned out to be another experience, what I had called "my entire being." It's turtles all the way down! I had always felt myself standing in back of everything witnessed, believing I was the one who was alive and had the power to witness. Until I slipped and felt that I was on an equal basis with a rock "I" was thinking of or the fleeting breeze "I" was feeling on my skin. Just as lifeless, just as dependent for my existence on the gaze of an impersonal whatever. And suppose that impersonal thing blinks?
Another paradigm shaken. My status dethroned. Apparently what I have been looking for all along is not something witnessable, experiencable. Apparently this search is for an impersonal reason. I felt shortchanged. Whom am I serving? I'm haunted, in a limbo. Where am I in this parade of happenings and witnessing? What is my role?
My secret plan to cheat death by overtopping God failed. Like other mere mortals, I, too, will not escape death. A bitter pill I'm still trying to swallow to this day. Disoriented, I left my profession and the city I lived in, not knowing what to do with my life. Yet, three years later now, living continues. And even when I can't see who witnesses, witnessing continues. What is going on?
Is this why hearing "God is within" was so profoundly depressing? Is this why when I looked within I found nothing inside? Because there I am, all I know of me, out there? Where, then, is within?
Despite the loud message I heard ten years ago, I am still looking for something outside myself. Something that would confer a special status on me, because in my world to be special is the prerequisite for being loved. Like the emperor and his special invisible robe, I am looking for specialness. Except that with me it's the wearer who is invisible, unidentified, undefined. Like an artful and relentless tradesman, I think I'm still bargaining with the universe: Don't you love me? Can't I live?
It's two years past another decade of my life now, and I'm … disappointed; I am not where I'd expected myself to be. I can say with the perfect robot in the movie Blade Runner: "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser gate…." Is this it? Since knowing is proven not to be the way to truth, then my only option is to become a truthful, trustworthy person. But what is there for me? How much my raison d'être is for reward! Apparently life is not about that. Then why am I here? What is another way to be?
~ Thanks to Ike [pronounced ee-keh] H., who's been an active TAT member for 10 years.
She had written the above essay in the summer of 2016. Following is an update as of the end of 2017:
I closed the above story with a question on the purpose of my life. The old one had become no longer tenable. Then I discovered that when I saw and accepted what my heart really wanted, the pursuit of that became the obvious purpose of my life. And the question of reward, of success or failure, of right or wrong, matters secondarily if at all.
Please email comments to the .
TAT Foundation News
It's all about "ladder work" – helping and being helped
|
* April 6-8, 2018 (Claymont Mansion) *
|
Downloadable/rental versions of the Mister Rose video and of April TAT talks
Remembering Your True Desire (details).
Local Group News
Update from the Central Ohio Nonduality group:
We continue to meet on Monday evenings at Panera across from The Ohio State University.
~ For further information, contact
or
.
We're also on Facebook.
|
On Wednesday–Sunday, March 21–25, one of the men's email groups will be holding an intensive retreat at Horseshoe Lake Park in rural Ft. McCoy, FL. |
Update from the weekly email self-inquiry groups:
Both the women's and the men's email groups are active, and we welcome serious participants.
~ Contact
or
.
Update from the Gainesville, FL self-inquiry group:
We meet at the Alachua County library on alternate Sundays. We currently have 597 members on the Meetup site. There will often be half a dozen or more new folks indicating that they'll be coming to the next meeting, but few of them actually show up. Fleeting inspiration!
~ Email
or
for more information.
|
On Saturday, May 5th, Bob Fergeson and Tess Hughes will be holding a one-day introduction to TAT and the teachings of Richard Rose in London, UK. See https://tatcouk.wordpress.com for registration or e-mail for inquiries. |
Update from the Galway, Ireland self-inquiry group:
In addition to meetings in Galway city, satellite groups are meeting in Cork and in Dublin.
~ Contact
.
Update from the Greensburg, PA self-inquiry group:
Our Greensburg SIG meetings have been much less frequent since last September. Attendance from my regulars has become more sporadic, especially from those I considered more interested and dynamic. Up until a year ago we met every week, but when attendance went down I cut it to bi-weekly. Now I'm considering monthly meetings. We last met the weekend before Christmas where the topic was "Are you awake or merely sleepwalking?" I had this meeting at a request of a regular who brought someone he thought would be interested in what we were doing and it went well, with five people present. My strategy right now is not to have the meetings for a while then start them up again when the regulars indicate an interest. Recently the new owners of the coffee shop where I have the meetings told me that some of the regulars have asked if I still have the meetings. In fact I saw one regular attendee at the coffee shop in January who told me that if I don't want to do the meetings, I should assign someone else to facilitate because he is interested in continuing. Hopefully if they miss the meetings I'll start them back on a more frequent basis. But I think the other problem is that we need new people, and I'm still cautious about using internet social media like Meetup and Facebook.
~ Contact
.
Update from the Lynchburg, VA self-inquiry group:
We meet on Thursday evenings and welcome inquiries. Email
or
for information on the meetings.
Update from the New York City area:
We've recently started a group in NYC and are looking for consistent, serious but lighthearted ;) members. So far, we have started each group meeting with a short meditation followed by a self-inquiry session with questions and responses. We plan to vary the format and also go on local retreats and spiritually-minded events, as time allows. We are meeting in downtown Manhattan (the financial district) in a really great public space that we are fortunate to have. Please contact me with any interest or questions. Tell a friend :)
~ Email
.
Update from the Philadelphia area:
Now meeting on alternate Saturdays.
~ Email
for more information.
Update from the Pittsburgh, PA self-inquiry group:
We hold public meetings at 7:00 PM on the 1st and 3rd Wednesdays of each month, at 7 PM, at the Pittsburgh Friends Meeting House in Oakland (4836 Ellsworth Avenue, Pittsburgh, PA 15213).
Wed Feb 7 Public Meeting Topic:
This evening the focus was on the issue of dedication: What is the basis of commitment, a vow, an oath, a promise? What does it mean to adhere to a set of beliefs? Are these different from obsession, desire, addiction, irritation, some natural goad from inside or out? Which of these do we choose and which might we fall victim to? What are limitations of our ability to choose? Are these all only mental projections which in the end enslave us?
Wed Feb 14 Public Meeting Topic:
"What is Change?"
~ For further information, contact
or
.
Update from the Portland, OR self-inquiry group:
We meet most Sundays and have been meeting at different local libraries around town due to limited room availability at any one library, but this has made it easier for people in those neighborhoods to attend the meetings.
~ Email
or
for more information.
Update from the Raleigh, NC Triangle Inquiry Group:
The Triangle Inquiry Group (TIG) meets on Wednesday evenings near NCSU.
~ Email
or
for information on local meetings.
|
On Friday–Sunday, April 20–22, Shawn Nevins and Tess Hughes will be conducting a weekend retreat in Co. Sligo, Ireland. For registration or inquiries, contact . |
Update from the San Francisco Bay area self-inquiry group:
Email
for information about upcoming meetings and events.
Members-Only Area
A password-protected section of the website is available for TAT members. The area contains information on product discounts for members as well as a substantial amount of helpful and historical information, including audio recordings, Newsletter archives, Retrospect archives, policies, conference proceedings, business meeting notes, photographs, and suggestions for ways to help.
The following audio recordings from 2016 TAT meetings are now available in the members-only website area:
TAT's June 2017 gathering was dedicated to teacher, author, poet, and TAT founder Richard Rose. Audio recordings from the weekend include:
TAT's Fall Workshop 2017 was titled The Prism of Truth: where science, love, and reality merge and included three guest speakers who each led separate workshops. The following audio recordings are now available in the members-only website area:
TAT's November 2017 Gathering was titled The Treasure Within our Lives Unconnected to Experience. The following audio recordings are now available in the members-only website area (there's also a text file describing the speakers and their sessions, not all of which were successfully recorded due to equipment malfunctioning):
Please us if you have questions. (Look here for info on TAT membership.)
Amazon and eBay
|
As an Amazon Associate TAT earns from qualifying purchases made through links on our website. Beyond Mind, Beyond Death is the latest of TAT's books to be converted to the Kindle ebook format. All of the TAT Press books are now available on Amazon in a digital format. TAT has registered with the eBay Giving Works program. You can list an item there and select TAT to receive a portion of your sale. Or if you use the link and donate 100% of the proceeds to TAT, you won't pay any seller fees when an item sells and eBay will transfer all the funds to TAT for you. Check out our Giving Works page on eBay. Click on the "For sellers" link on the left side of that page for details. There's more background information on the new home for TAT project in the TAT Homing Ground section below. |
Your Contributions to TAT News
TAT founder Richard Rose believed that working with others accelerates our retreat from untruth. He also felt that such efforts were most effective when applied with discernment, meaning working with others on the rungs of the ladder closest to our own. The TAT News section is for TAT members to communicate about work they've been doing with or for other members and friends. Please your "ladder work" news.
Humor
"One thing you must be able to do in the midst
of any experience is laugh. And experience
should show you that it isn't real, that it's a
movie. Life doesn't take you seriously, so why
take it seriously." ~ Richard Rose, Carillon
|
You start out dead and get that out of the way.
|
We're hoping to present more humor from TAT members and friends here. Please
your written or graphic creations. Exact sources are necessary for other submissions, since we need to make sure they're either in the public domain or that we have permission to use them.
Inspiration & Irritation
Irritation moves us; inspiration provides a direction
|
"The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald * From "The Crack-Up." Originally published as a three-part series in the February, March, and April 1936 issues of Esquire.
* Over an eight-year period, Paul Constant recorded nearly 350 pages of personal notes in four notebook binders and subsequently extracted Rose's most remarkable wisdom from the notebooks. Readers can find a four-part series of "Richard Rose Notes and Quotes – 1986 to 1993" in the download center of searchwithin.org. |
|
What can split-brain research teach us about normal brains? "One of the fundamental facts of split-brain research that people have to remember is that you can take any normal person and normal brain and disconnect the hemispheres and all of a sudden you have two consciousnesses. And through analysis and examination of all kinds of neurologic cases, you realized there are consciousnesses all over the brain! "So if you're looking at one system that somehow generates our subjective sense of being conscious—that's wrong. That's not how we should think about how consciousness evolved. You can take a conscious system and divide it in two just by disconnecting some neurons—that is a thing to go home and think about real hard." ~ From an interview with Michael Gazzaniga on National Public Radio. Gazzaniga is the director of the SAGE Center for the Study of Mind at the University of California, Santa Barbara, and author of the upcoming book, The Consciousness Instinct. * Thanks to Shawn Nevins, who wrote: Gazzaniga's work has become almost common knowledge, yet his sense of wonder shines through in this recent interview. The last sentence is a doozy, and should make the spiritual crowd deeply question this awareness which they think they are. There's really no way out of the box of consciousness especially when you start thinking of this multitude inside us. Our "self" could be the left hand or the right hand. Yet somehow we think awareness is separate from this mess. |
|
Nose to the ground I run chasing a prey, not fully recognizing its scent but hungry for it none-the-less. I pursue the scent day and night relentlessly looking under every bush I pass and many times thinking I am getting close. Exhausted from the hunt, near death, I fall into a deep sleep and dream. In the dream I am the scent and something is pursuing me. I am running from the pursuer for I fear it means me harm. Finally, exhausted from the run, I stop and slowly turn around and I see what has been chasing me and I laugh and I breathe in the aroma that has been closer to me than my own breath and I hope I will not wake up from the dream. *
~ Thanks to TAT member Penny W., who wrote this succinct version of Francis Thompson's poignant poem Hound of Heaven |
in her own words as "homework" for a retreat she participated in recently.
Please
your thoughts on the above items.
Reader Commentary
Encouraging interactive readership among TAT members and friends
|
A reader wrote that what would make the Forum more interesting would be: Hearing from people who are searching – and have questions instead of those providing endless advice and "answers." What challenges they are facing. What their doubts and questions are. How they perceive their path is going. What they are doing in their lives. Where they think they will end up. Etc. etc. Can you help make the Forum more interesting? |
The question we asked readers for this month's Reader Commentary was a composite of these questions suggested by three readers:
How do you pray?
What is the nature of your prayers…requests, complaints, longing, remembrance…
What is your understanding of prayer? Do you have a prayer practice? If so, what is it and how do you understand how it fits into your overall desire for Self realisation?
Responses follow.
From Maggan H:
Pray !? to what would i pray ?? ....and for what ?
From MT in Australia:
For me, prayer is connecting with my Creator so I attempt to pray from my deepest centre with my awareness focused on I am and God is. My prayer can also take the form of longing to bridge my seeming separation from the Divine. The less there is of me the less separation I feel. Sometimes I remember times in the past that hold great meaning along the journey, experiences that remind me of moments of self-realization. Prayer is a practice I use to move away from the unreal to what is more real…the mysterious help toward finding the Truth – Self-Realization. Prayer can simply be awareness of my current state, staying still and silent, listening, being present. I sometimes have prayer requests…like wishing to connect with people in Australia who know about the TAT Foundation and are working on themselves…it can be a lonely journey without friends along the way.
From Andreas H:
How do you pray?
I usually pray throughout the day: in the mornings I make prayers as part of my regular practice and often combined with asanas or yoga. A lot of it consists of creating a certain attitude that I wish to bring to all activities in the day.
From there I check back in with the prayer and my state of mind at semi-regular intervals until bedtime.
What is the nature of your prayers…requests, complaints, longing, remembrance…
First of all I pray for well-being, that I will have sanity and clarity of mind and to be filled with kindness. I extend these wishes to include all people I will meet with, and those that I won't. I pray that these people be relieved from suffering and hardship.
My prayers are also directed toward a wish that I not see people as different from me – that I may recognize their nature as my own.
I also ask for strength and forbearance to take on whatever challenges come my way.
What is your understanding of prayer?
More and more I begin to see prayer as a form of devotion. Prayer becomes an act of opening up to an intelligence that far exceeds my own. This means living one's life in service to the wish and wisdom of the greater Self. So this becomes a little scary at times; if I commit fully to this prayer, I am no longer in charge.
Do you have a prayer practice? If so, what is it and how do you understand how it fits into your overall desire for Self realisation?
There are a number of prayers that have become part of my daily practices. For instance I do Tonglen, which is not necessarily a specific prayer practice, but a way of taking in and embracing the suffering of the world and of self. The effect of this practice tends to be that less and less time is spent on concern for self. And it becomes sort of an instant reminder and recovery whenever there is a tendency to become absorbed by personal needs and gratifications.
This is how I see it playing a part in a journey towards self-discovery; the less I am obsessing or ruminating about Andreas and his particular predicament, the more energy and focus can be brought to that which is beyond him.
From Sergio F:
For me prayer is a way to remember and express the idea that there is a Higher Power, something wiser and bigger than my mind and knowledge, and that without That my finite mind is unable to achieve any understanding of life and the Self. It's a way to express the intention to surrender to a Higher Power, the intention to let go of what I know. Usually the way to pray is to express this intention in some verbal way, and then to stay for some time with the idea and associated feeling.
From Jack B:
How do you pray?
I mostly do it in thought. I would consider my prayer to be fairly conventional for a person coming from a not-extremely-observant Christian family: conversation with God/Universe. Sometimes I do it in writing, too, particularly when I am doing written self-inquiry. The words and language I use tend to be rather casual and unstructured. I feel more comfortable when I am saying prayers in a conversational way rather than in very formal or Biblical-sounding language. I figure that the solemnity comes through the content, the intention, and the state of mind while praying, rather than the formality of the words.
What is the nature of your prayers…requests, complaints, longing, remembrance…
Most of my prayers are thanks and gratitude for the good things in my life, and requests for continued and new good things.
What is your understanding of prayer? Do you have a prayer practice? If so, what is it and how do you understand how it fits into your overall desire for Self realisation?
I don't think I have a very "sophisticated" understanding or prayer. I'm certainly not too systematic about it, and it doesn't come from orthodox training in any particular religious tradition. That said, I do like to practice it regularly as one of the pillars of my spiritual practice. One of my "requests" in prayer is for Self-realization itself. I'm very fond of Rose's recommendation to "make your life a prayer", which I interpret to mean let your attention rest on your spiritual practice at all times, and live in a state of prayer.
From Adrian B:
Being brought up Irish catholic, sometimes I recite a few decades of the rosary while driving into work. I'm a recovering alcoholic, so I have set prayers from AA that I say morning and evening asking a Higher Power to keep me sober for the day and thanking him/her for doing so at the end of each day. Lately it was suggested to bow down and touch my forehead to the floor as a physical gesture of complete surrender to God. This has been working really well for me because I feel that this is helping me to surrender and trust in God on a much deeper level.
Since becoming interested in self realisation, I have become more aware that God is within me if I could just step out of my own way. My prayers have mainly consisted of asking for help with my self-inquiry and guidance on how to do that. I tend to ask for help with letting go of my want to control the outcome.
From DJ:
I pray by intention and verbalising that intention by thought. Part of that intention is the recognition of my own helplessness, which then turns into the conviction that I have to try to do something, when my prayer (as often) yields no immediate visible answer.
Mostly my prayers are requests, which include by default elements of complaints about a current situation and longing for something different.
I probably don't have much understanding of what prayer really is or how to use it effectively. The admonition to "make your life a prayer" has been the most practical part of the praying advice or guidelines I've seen. In that it places emphasis on doing rather than passively waiting for some deity to grant a favour. Then again, maybe the action is just a way of keeping the mind busy while the unavoidable waiting takes place….
My prayer practice is intermittent – only actively practiced in the way I describe above, based on whatever is going on in my life at the time. Usually the more I learn about myself through periods of introspection, the more I see the game of life and the players engineered to act self interestedly. This usually prompts a prayer for life to make me less selfish so I can be of use to others. Other times I pray for character attributes and qualities that would enable me to endure this path rather than for it to be over quickly
From Chuck W:
I pray like a blind brokenhearted beggar calling out in the darkness for a crust of bread
and like a drunken sailor cursing the crashing waves and storming seas.
I pray like a trucker on his CB driving down highway 81
and like a spoiled child on Christmas eve.
I pray like a standup comedian throwing new jokes into the darkness off stage
and like a pilgrim lost in the desert for days who tops the dune and sees water.
I pray like a dying man taking the sacrament of Last Rites
and I pray like a priest administering the sacrament to a man that is already dead.
From Riley H:
To me, prayer is a unified physical, emotional, and mental gesture that evokes alignment with and surrender to the higher intelligence. The physical element is important to me, and I'll usually start with some physical activity that puts me in a slightly altered state: deep breathing, bioenergetic exercises, self hypnosis, exercises, sauna, dance. Then I'll usually recite a prayer that gets me in the bhakti "mood" on the emotional level. By then, the mind has usually chilled out and stepped aside somewhat, leaving an open channel for intuition, and I'll simply open up a conversation with the higher power on that intuitive level. It might just be a check-in about what I've been up to in my daily life, along the lines of what's working, what's missing, what's next. Or it may focus on a specific block or hang-up I'm encountering. Or it could just be a reaffirmation of an intent to surrender. Intuition guides where it goes and where it ends up. I may ask for something specific if it feels right, and the whole thing may or may not have anything to do with self realization in any given instance. I just do my best to align myself and open up to receive, and let the higher intelligence take it from there.
From NG:
3 Ways of Praying
1. Silently thought words lasting a brief time.
2. Holding the prayer as a mental object for an extended time.
3. Treating an activity related to a prayer topic as a prayer itself (translates to devoting one's full presence and attention to the activity).
Nature of Prayers
1. Request for help
2. Gratitude
3. Request to help others
4. To hear myself talk
I tend to look at prayer on 2 levels. On the first level it is as if I'm saying a prayer "to myself." I'm praying to the part of me that I am unconscious of and shapes my reality. It's what's responsible for me understanding anything at all and determines who I am as a person. It's a very practical level.
The 2nd level is appealing to something that might be "beyond" me and thus in a better position to help. The assumption being that it has a bigger picture and the means to assist. It also assumes a concern for me, or a willingness to cooperate. The final assumption and perhaps most important one is that it helps by doing what's best not whatever I desire.
From Joel S:
I don't really pray in the sense of talking to a separate being and asking him/her for something. I feel that there is a creative force that contains everything and is the animating force of everything and keeps our molecules from flying apart. But the level of intelligence implied in this is just too much for me to try and contain it in an image that I could pray to.
I think that maybe the sense of communion that I feel with the elemental forces of nature might be considered a form of prayer. I'm often overcome by a feeling of gratitude to whatever mystery created this incredible world and my prayer is just "Thanks."
From Anonymous:
Prayer to me is more about stating and meditating on my intentions and direction. It is also about being thankful for what is. It begins with my early morning meditation and, if successful, reverberates throughout the day. Prayer includes a lot of watching and waiting.
It is a form of surrender which sprouts from a sense of helplessness and even hopelessness. It invokes, recognizes or requests contact with a Presence of a higher power or knowledge and an opportunity to receive help to know and to accomplish what is intended for me, not for what I intend. Perhaps that's the difference between my prayers that seem to be ignored and those that seem to be answered: those that demonstrate a desire for personal gain versus the relinquishing of my own agenda in exchange for more awareness of a higher purpose.
|
The question for next month is: What are the principles you live by or aspire to live by? Please your response for next month's Reader Commentary by the 25th and indicate your preferred identification (the default is your first name and the initial letter of your last name). |
Richard Rose described a spiritual path as living one's life
aimed at finding the meaning of that life.
Did you find anything relevant to your life or search in this month's TAT Forum?
Thanks to Wikimedia Commons.
We like hearing from you! Please
your comments, suggestions, inquiries, and submissions.
Sign up for notices of TAT's four annual events and free
monthly Forums by email on our .
Founder's Wisdom
Richard Rose (1917-2005) established the TAT Foundation
in 1973 to encourage people to work together on what
he considered to be the "grand project" of spiritual work.
Nostalgia and Dreams
|
Part 3 of a talk given at Case Western Reserve University in 1978 (continued from the January 2018 TAT Forum and the February 2018 TAT Forum): |
Q & A continues
Q. I notice that in the seductive and the fear dreams, there's a lot of material to worry about – what the motivation of other people is, stuff like that.
R. Yes, but not in the nostalgic dreams. In the seductive dream you become aggressive. You may want to rape somebody, and you may in your dream rape somebody. That ego is manifesting there; that's your acquisition. But not in the nostalgic moods.
This is the reason I thought there was a possibility that sometime the nostalgic mood could get so strong – that you would pledge your life to a certain peacefulness on earth, as opposed to finding the answer out for yourself. Trying to find this common denominator of behavior, which would be so beneficial to everybody that we'd all live in this nostalgic mood – and in that respect lose our spiritual directive, and it might be detrimental to you. That's the possible bad aspect of it. But the good part is, that it sure isn't going to give you any harm; you're not going to get into trouble with your fellowman by listening to it.
Q. Does that imply that that the nostalgic mood is directly opposed to a spiritual drive you might have?
R. No, I don't think so. Because of the simple fact that the nostalgia or the eternality of a home life, especially a non-turbulent home life, parallels the spiritual direction. The spiritual direction also, is aimed at social life. I'd say that seventy-five percent of all spiritual direction today is social.
Q. What is the point of being aware of your dreaming?
The complete Part 3 of the 1978 "Nostalgia and Dreams" talk
Did you enjoy the Forum? Then buy the book!
Beyond Mind, Beyond Death is available at Amazon.com.
