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December 2018 / More

TAT Foundation News

It's all about "ladder work" – helping and being helped

 

Reader Commentary

Encouraging interactive readership among TAT members and friends

Other Reader Feedback

The complete message from Rob-in Leeds, in response to "Suffering Is Missing" in the November TAT Forum:

You asked if we readers had experienced anything similar to Leesa W.

I received an email this same morning as the November TAT Forum email which resonates with the reflections from Leesa W.

"…The more deeply we experience God's love, the more elusive its consummation seems. There are flares of love, as we momentarily melt into God and God melts into us. Then, like glowing embers, we live in an underlying habitual state of love's glow. And, in love's glow, we come to an extraordinary realization: The absence of the Beloved is the Beloved, giving himself or herself to me as the experience of the Beloved…."

The daily email from Richard Rohr, a Franciscan monk, always reminds me of the oft quoted St. Francis's: "What you are looking for is what is looking."

The full email is visible at: https://tinyurl.com/RRohr-2018-11-02-Searching-for and also suggests:

"John of the Cross says we get all tangled up in suffering, and we get all tangled up in searching for love. The root of suffering is the deprivation of love. Now in reality, there's no such thing as the deprivation of love, because the infinite love of God invincibly pervades and gives itself endlessly to everyone and to all things everywhere. There is no such thing as a deprivation of love, but there is the deprivation of the capacity to experience the love that is never missing."

At the end of the piece is the question" "Have you experienced something similar?"

Leesa W. writes at the end of the piece: "Perhaps the answer lies in that first small shift of gaze (attention) from the suffering/sufferer to whatever (God, Unknown) is beyond it."

I have recently finally seen, understood, realised that my intellect/mind cannot, because of its finite limits, hold or make sense of Reality. My desire to know everything is flawed…and, as Leesa W. points out, is beyond it.

*

The complete message from William Y., after making his first pilgrimage to TAT for the November spiritual retreat weekend:

There is a friend whom I now have on the West Coast, who I will want to share the details of my first experience at a TAT retreat with, and I randomly pulled on distinguishable strings on inquiry to list a "Top Ten Learning Moments."

1. When the student is ready….

Someone at retreat spoke of a children's story, which hosts a young bird, I think, that was trying to find its mother. I can't recall all of it, but the bird travels around, meeting other beings. The young bird asks each of them: "Are you my mother?"

In some similar fashion, I am that little bird. I have had a taste of something that was not taught to me in school or by my parents, and not by the patterns and habits of my West Coast Canadian culture. This taste has given me pause to think less like a well-informed educated adult, and more like a lost infant, looking for their source.

I am asking: "Are you my teacher?"

Writing that last line, I felt energy of a graceful nature, with gratitude that edged over the banks, and a trickle of a tear rolled down.

At the TAT retreat, I had a great number of opportunities to ask this very question. I see my life as about curiosity and discovery. With or without a person, the questions that life invites me to inquire about are: Who is present for this? And who am I in the face of this?

2. What has this to offer?

Valuable learning met me everywhere, from participants, teachers and circumstances, the annoying excessive talker on a six hour flight, or the kind stranger that offers me a tour of their historic society museum centre behind the Claymont Mansion at the TAT retreat.

It might have been a flat tire that arrives at an auspicious or "in between" moment, or a large muskrat that shows up during a usually uneventful walk. Am I present and curious in these moments?

In the presence of tenacious seeking: Teachers in the various states of discourse, teaching, or walking the grounds, and eating with us around a table, it was a feast of inquiry moments.

3. What box do my hidden beliefs come in?

I am grateful for the break-out sessions, and random groupings and the turning over of stones to see what is hiding under them. There were numerous moments during these sessions when I found teaching hiding beneath them. Some rocks, however, just looked like familiar understandings, and yet, fully engaged with the task—I looked again anyway.

I write down my organic discoveries; weighted with reaction or not.

Another participant shared a beautiful description that I might not have considered. The quote was something like: "Be careful for both the tendency to make the task bigger than it is, or the offer to simplify it." The wisdom to know the difference is what I look to set my compass and vector on.

Hearing others share an answer to a question, which seemed more on the mark than my own initial answer. I am tempted, by the triggering of a new thoughts, to change my answer. Triggered by what I interpreted from another organic response. Is the correct answer the one without comparison? Might my belief be that I should have an organic response like another? Was I avoiding something, or am I now reading too deeply in an empty dish?

What I do fall back on? Stepping outside of the box of my once sleeping self, I find the view improved, but I find only a larger landscape—a bigger box. A quote that has long been with me from Buddhism Made Simple reads: "A seeking mind is a restless mind, and a restless mind is a discontent mind…."

Sometimes the simple organic reaction to a specific inquiry is an empty dish, and maybe my learning comes also from the acceptance of just that.

4. What Is My Illusion of Enlightenment?

First, I confess that I am yet to be warm to that word. Conceding further, I have held off attaching too tightly to any fixed interpretation of words. Recognizing that words are labels, used to share and compare, a representation of senses, intuitions (interpretations) from one person to another. Compromise, in the absence of direct source transmission, always remains. I have, in all relationships, become someone that is intensely curious to transmit and receive those root intuitions.

I accept that "enlightenment" does not mean continual bliss, so spending time around and observing the teachers, as well as other self-inquiry enthusiasts, was immensely rewarding opportunity.

Some regret, that my senses get over-stimulated during the louder periods of informal discussions, so I chose seclusion and rest. In part, this guards myself from self-judgment as sometimes in casual banter I regress somewhat, becoming the person that likes to make things happen, more than just observe.

5. Are you my Grand-father?

One of the teachers was more active than others in my experience of the retreat. A teacher in all ways that I have recognized one in writings and descriptions. I cross-talked, like the smart-assed kid, in one class, inspiring laughter, with no more than a cautionary stare from the teacher, but this time, I learned from an unintended consequence.

My grandfather was from the old country, Russian by his account, and he had no qualms about giving you the straight wealth of his intelligence, and sometimes it smarted. I heard him call my father down, school him, and yet I revered him, as everyone seemed to. At the retreat this teacher had me give careful re-evaluation of the belief that I had formed from Non-Duality teachers.

My language is sloppy from the many sources of my seeking, and I felt to qualms to let them slip away, but I was being confronted with the reality that once again—there is no stable ground to chart my path.

My grandfather used to quiz me after Sunday school, about what was taught. My older sister would not talk to him about it, because she knew he was an atheist, and I didn't yet understand that word. He had a big round freckled forehead, and hardly any hair, except on his eyebrows—which looked like hawk wings when they "preyed" in on me. "Do you believe it?"

The was my first teacher; he asked me to have my own opinion of what I was being taught! Both these teachers seemed to point to the same thing: Trust only what you test out to be truth, for yourself, and even then—be careful of untested beliefs!

Grampa George Yarmoshuk once told me: "Don't trust anyone, not even yourself sometimes; you think you are going to fart…and you shit your pants!"

6. East Coast Vs. West Coast?

Coming to TAT from the West Coast, I thought nothing more of the geography, other than the distance and logistics to travel and participate.

Unconditional acceptance of the world—as it is, and the people in it as they are. I have only been to New York for five days, prior to this visit, so I notice very little difference between the patterns of thinking of either coast. I occasionally met with groups from all over North America, but discussions are limited, and I have not opinions of difference.

I cannot say what I have learned, but I can say that I noticed something, and my interpretations were such that I questioned my intuition.

On the surface: I believe that on the West Coast, if I were to attend a function with five teachers, and at least that many more people in the throes of enlightenment, that the cost would be two thirds of my net worth. And there may have been more pony tails, and some visually noticeable extreme Yoga enthusiast; brighter clothing perhaps.

I questioned a couple times whether I was being judged, categorized in some subtle way, but then noticed that the opposite might have been unabashed arrogance. Perhaps the truthful sense of the world, if noticed at all, might have inspiring overtones of contrasting intuitions.

Anything, anyone, and any place or moment that causes an intuition that something is different is welcome, even while it remains unexplained. I recall the Oz line: "This doesn't feel like Kansas"

7. Guarding Borders?

One of the teachers had said something to the affect that students needed to look beyond what teachers described as their specific means to become enlightened. At some point, you are your own Guru; that was my take away.

The discussion included the pointing that if the mind of a student was armed with expectations and comparisons, some illusionary border might inhibit "us" from getting entrance. The "us" or the individual me that guards these expectations, with an intact sense of identity, is not ever going to be realized as such.

I have crossed borders under multiple labels and found myself under the scrutiny of minds that are guarding against threats to the status quo. When the customs officer asks what the purpose of my visit is, and I say business convention or pleasure, or even to attend an Argentine Tango Festival, I have a sense of how he or she might evaluate my answers.

What is your occupation? Account Manager or Credit Manager meets with a readily approved opinion. These days I tell them I am a house painter. This hasn't created any eyebrows when I said I was going to learn how to dance like an adventurous Argentine Milongaro. I might one day be asked to show them the festival itinerary, but in over six cross boarder occasions, it has not happened yet.

Returning to Canada, a Customs officer asked what I do, where I stayed, and what type of philosophical symposium I was at?

I found an internal smirk showed up when he asked the name of the organization and he typed in "tatfoundation.org." Looking inside, I questioned why I had said philosophical instead of spiritual, and symposium instead of retreat. I wondered what my smirk was rooted in, which was now clearly visible, and what the young man was thinking as he marked my reentry slip.

His mark led me to yet a third line, where another officer was employed to guard borders and the re-entry to Canada. I waited to be called. I mused in thoughts of how fresh this flavor of scrutiny was, noticed both my amused sense of innocence and how innocent and beautiful the Customs officer was, and I laughed gently within a sense of gratitude.

The process of "Who am I?" requires me to strip search every possible hiding place where the un-truth may be hiding.

8. One of the teachers, during panel discussions, made a statement that rings clear to my ears, and my interpretations, and might well be a universal truth that has been underrated: "I was so glad to find that God is not judgmental as I had been…."

It would not matter to me if a person was an Advaita or Spiritual teacher, a Guru, or Enlightened being; as anyone living and embodying the unconditional acceptance of all beings, is someone I would want to be one of the five people I spent the most time around. Yet, as judgments become opinions, then only distracting observations, I still have some letting go to do.

On one occasion, someone I had met earlier came and spoke with me, and I noticed alcohol on their breath. I caught myself with the opinion that this was perhaps a clue that they are living in un-truths. Yet, Alan Watts has been a large influence on my understanding of Eastern (Asia/India) Philosophy, and he was said, by his daughter, to be two sheets to the wind at nearly every lecture.

I am under the influence of many beliefs, and I remain open to discovering that I may learn that yet another of them is blinding me from knowing the truth of who I am. What looks like one thing from the outside is likely experienced differently on the inside, and the true inquiry, is of self, not other.

9. Upgraded Persona?

In the past eight years, none went by without self inquiry. In the past four years, that would be every hour, and of the past eighteen months, only periods of preoccupation, gaps during meditation, lost moments of observations in nature, or what was in the present, and sleep, have been moments when I am not looking inside.

A thought caused some stir, as I considered one of the teachers, and I reviewed how I might be perceived by others at the retreat. Spiritual bypassing and/or an upgraded spiritual ego (persona) are themes I employ, truthful inquiry—often with liberating humility.

The day before boarding flying East, I visited my mother in hospital. The immediate concern was a broken leg from a fall, but something akin to dementia has been an encroaching concern for a while. A great deal of energy in my life was lost to the nonacceptance of something about my mother. Everything, however, I might have held as to regret, disappointment, or unresolved issues, seemed to evaporate when I realized the truth of her condition.

Without a grade twelve education, and no other claims of hierarchical status, my mother's self-confidence was often noticeable, both favorably and otherwise.

Her maiden name implied nobility, yet that was not passed down to me, while I did, however, exhibit her confidence much of my life. I saw it in her father, my grandfather, and at times I wrestled with my unexplained sense that everything would end well. While caught up in "mainstream" agendas (career, marriage, divorce, marriage, career changes, and children, blended families, divorce), that sense of confidence waned or was defeated or otherwise seemed not present, whereas a passion for results was.

In this last visit with Mom, she exhibited a humility that I had never witnessed before, and I found myself in a gap of contentment hearing everything she shared with me.

In place of her confidence, there were the usual suspects of concerns about health, her dog, my step-father, but something else was clearly noticeable. Mixed in with her confused statements, or references, was a child-like curiosity for what was happening around her, and a sense of humour (a flavor of indifference) and uncertainty regarding what the scene was leading towards. (Humility + Curiosity = Contentment.)

Curiosity to find truth, to see the world without delusion, colors my inquiries, along with a poetic disposition to see the beauty at all times.

My mother has experienced some serious challenges in her life, and as fate would have it, I have too. I know the tension of the opposites. Gratitude and bliss versus fear and madness. Since the retreat, very intimate inquiries of a sword of which on one side is my beloved sense of self wishing to be seen and heard (this shared writing), while on the other side is the surrendering of all certainty, all identification and authorship in presence of what I cannot describe other than god-consciousness.

This sword is not held by me, except in arrogant delusion, but with humility this sword is suspended in time, and I look upon the thin edge of the blade for who I am.

10. Friendship

This last item was actually the first occurrence related to my registering for the TAT retreat.

A new friend named Mary contacted me by email several weeks back, and we had a few emails pass back and forth, and I arranged to visit her before attending the retreat. Mary is why I thought to write this list, and I thank Art for having given her my email address, as he had been corresponding with her. The fact is, this was my first extended discussion with another being, absent of any hierarchy, perceived or implied.

Just two students of self inquiry, exchanging stories of teachers, lessons, and our confusion or understanding of those teachings. I enjoyed unconditional acceptance in that exchange, and I trust that Mary also feels I have no opinions or judgments that she should pursue her path in any way other than which she has been determining.

When I am present with any person who reciprocates unconditional acceptance, unlimited curiosity, and the sharing self inquiries, then there is a sense that I am in the presence of god.

Return to the main page of the December 2018 TAT Forum.

 

Founder's Wisdom

Richard Rose (1917-2005) established the TAT Foundation
in 1973 to encourage people to work together on what
he considered to be the "grand project" of spiritual work.

A GENERAL SUMMARY OF BLOCKS

From The Albigen Papers, Chapter 5: "Obstacles to Transcendental Efforts":

Everything cannot be verbalized. And the emphasis upon the "states" above [see "States of Mind" in the 2018 November TAT Forum] is an attempt to show that things happen to us, and have a great influence on our essence, and cannot always be described with words. [Richard Rose also covered states of perception and subliminal states of perception in Chapter 5.] Likewise, there is no book of symptoms that covers all of the blocks that may be generated by these "states," nor is there a word-book of any sort that will list the manner of surmounting each block. Without perfected intuition we are lost.

In examining the systems that have endured in whole or in part down through the ages, we find that nearly all religions recognized that a sort of battle had to be fought to achieve anything that might be identified as a spiritual accomplishment. Now, we might say that we are not necessarily interested in religion in this writing, as much as we are in thinking and in understanding the essence of man … all of which might well come under the heading of psychology or super psychology. And, of course, when we say that we are interested in psychology here, we are not referring to the pseudo-science that is peddled by the political hucksters of social amenities.

When we find ourselves dealing with mental processes, we find ourselves dealing with the same abstract plane that is the battleground of mystics and theologians. And while we may wish to pretend that we are philosophers, and above all weaknesses that might be earmarked as having religious origins—we can only so pretend with facetiousness. We are looking for tools to probe the abstract plane, and we find that the mind is about the only tool we have for that venture. Next, we look for yardsticks to gauge and keep a check on the mind, because we have discovered that the mind is unreliable and elusive. We are in extremely bad shape, in fact, unless we can find some way of monitoring this computer, which is continually suffering from emotional interference.

Let us look at the advice given us by the earlier prospectors of this field, and consider the things which they considered to be obstacles to progress or success in mental and spiritual achievement.

We have the seven deadly sins. They could also be called the seven obstacles to understanding. Pride, covetousness, lust, hatred, anger, envy and sloth. These were published by the church long before the science of psychology was invented. Let us look at some of the mental blocks outlined by psychology, and compare them.

What is procrastination, but another form of sloth? Exhibitionism is another term for pride. There are many trade terms for lust, such as satyriasis and nymphomania. Anger is considered an aberration—the result of incomplete knowledge, or frustration with diverse objectives. Paranoia, in some diagnoses as such, may be nothing more than envy and fear. It can be seen that the seven deadly sins can be seven obstacles to clear thinking. But there are more.

The first and chief obstacle to the pursuit of Truth is Nature, and nature. Meaning both the nature of man, and external Nature—which is capitalized to distinguish the two. The nature of man is such that it hinders his thinking, since he must spend a good bit of his time thinking about survival in its several forms. By that—meaning his personal survival—we may find his motives for seeking immortality, but his immediate daily survival-needs do, and must have, precedence over post-mortem survival.

So, the appetites are a block or impediment. The exigencies of living are obstacles. And bodily or physical limitations are an obstacle to the quest. We will get tired, if nothing else. The body may be in pain, and while it is in pain, we will not be able to think. And most men wait until they are in pain before they feel compelled to think about life-after-death. Our glands may not be functioning properly and all sorts of complexes and confusion may result.

We are pretty much at the mercy of our natural limitations, which can be overcome to only a very small degree at a time. Consequently, the major religions hedgehopped the issue of Nature, and their teachings concentrated upon mental obstacles. Only the priests and nuns undertook to negate the physical, animal nature implanted in us by Nature. They seemed to bargain the spiritual chances of the laity away, for a respite for themselves—during which time they practiced celibacy, poverty and fasting.

As for mental obstacles, the word that expresses the most adverse force is called "Ego." We define Ego here, not only as egotism, but also as being that composite of voices or urges known as personality, which in the final analysis is always false. Because the Ego is such a significant negative force, we will come back to it later to give it wonder examination.

Let us examine a few more things that are obstacles. There is the laziness of the mind, which somehow must be tied up with physical incapacity or brain-limitations. There is a fugue, or flight from the strain of thinking. Our curiosity will take us occasionally to the threshold of study, but something in the mind sees the work coming, and takes the thoughts away in flight and escape. There are fears. There is a fear of social rebuff—fear that the neighbors might find out that we are standing on our head or chanting mantras, or fear that they might discover that we have joined a group. There is the fear of hobgoblins. Brave men who have survived the battlefield cannot be dragged into a haunted house. There are fears of incubi or succubi. There are fears of spiritual contamination, and even fears of losing the soul (which we cannot intellectually isolate.)

Blind faith is an obstacle that comes in the category of rationalization. We should believe only tentatively. When we build on belief, we build cement around our mobile mental faculties. Or in other words, we stagnate.

Robert S. DeRopp recently wrote The Master Game (1974 edition), a very good book for serious researchers, and for psychologists in the true sense of the word. He lists six "catches": The think-talk syndrome; the starry-eyed syndrome; the false-Messiah syndrome; the personal salvation syndrome; the Sunday-go-to meeting syndrome; and the hunt-the-guru syndrome.

Number one and number six speak of procrastination. Number one differs from number six in that the former may never get anything done but talk. Number six wanders from guru to guru, never stopping long enough to work diligently with any. The second syndrome, the starry-eyed, refers to those who, from a combination of emotionalism and weakness, blindly follow a particular teacher or system. This is an example of blind faith, and aptly describes some of its motivation.

The false Messiah syndrome refers to those who have come to believe that they are a teacher or savior, simply because they desire to be a figure of prominence. These sometimes are psychopathic pretzels or oversized egomaniacs.

Which brings us to the business of ego. There is much confusion with the word "Ego." There is a big difference between the implied meaning of "Ego" when Jung uses it, and when Jung uses it, and when Gurdjief uses it. The Gurdjief system teaches that there are many "I's", which, by their multiplicity, split up the energy of men and weaken the power that might be spent upon self-development. The system further indicates that these "I's" should be developed or used in such a manner as to lead to a more coordinated being.

The system of Zen, on the other hand, leans more to the esoteric Christian view of the Ego as being the unhealthy part of the self. This Zen interpretation, in contrast to the Gurdjieff-system, says that there can be only one "I" for a perfectly functioning person. All of the rest must be discovered to be inferior and unimportant in relation to the ultimate destiny of man.

It is almost amusing to witness the attempts by the mind-mechanics to define the word Ego. I maintain that the Ego is false and has no functional value for the essence of man, any more than an ingrown toenail would. To me the ego is the aggregate of many urges whose ultimate value is more negative or harmful than good. The modern psychologists dare not quibble with nature, and are obliged to rationalize for anything that is in that nature—that is manifest. And so they wrongly ascribe to your being, the Ego as a faculty or important part, when in fact it is a sort of excrescence.

Let us examine Webster. Under "psychology" we find the self—"the self, whether considered an organization or system of mental states, or as the consciousness of the individual's distinction from other selves." The dictionary cannot take up too much space with each definition, and it is difficult to incorporate all that modern psychology does not know in a few lines. However, the first line of the above definition might refer to uncertain mental states, or false states, while the second line refers to the opposite—the final observer that is aware of the other "selves." Some psychologists see that there is an incomplete description of the evident phases of consciousness, or complex conglomerations of thought-origins and mental reactions…and so they coin another word, "Id." From Id, Ego and Libido are supposed to emanate.

As long as the "alienists" continue to operate as public utilities, instead of functioning as scientists looking for the Truth, they will manage to keep doors closed that might allow them to understand the mind. Having denounced most mystics as being psychoneurotic, they will hardly dare to approach the understanding of the mind through any of the formulae proposed by mystics.

The three horsemen of dark visage and apocalyptic message for mankind are not pestilence, famine, and death. They are, Authoritative Ignorance, Enforced Conditioning of the Individual, and Enforced Conditioning for the Masses. The first horseman is only ignorant. The last two are mad. They are, respectively, Psychology, Psychoanalysis and Sociology. And we are the unfortunate horses who support them.

The obstacles of nature are the most subtle opponents to Truth, and the exigencies of everyday living are the most immediate obstacles. However, the most formidable obstacles are contained in the Ego.

The sad part of this business of seeking for the Truth is the fact that man's greatest enemies in the field are his external fellow man, and his internal schizoid nature. There is no doubt that Zen attracted many great minds, because those minds saw the inescapable danger of the attempts to categorize and scientize a study before all the data was in. The most that we can do by the way of a rational study of the definition of the essence of man before all the data is in (which means too long a wait), is to devise systems of study, or to design new tools with which to evaluate the abstract values of the mind-states. Zen, of course, goes to the heart of the matter. It is a system that works with the negation of untruth, or a retreat from error, rather than a proud, frontal assault on ignorance with such primitive wall-scaling devices as concept-building.

So that, even as the churches have become the enemy of Truth by virtue of a downward chain of attitudes, into rationalization resulting from fatigue, into concept-building or dogma, into ritual as a replacement for interior effort, and finally into a domineering and fear-inspiring mundane authoritativeness, likewise the mind-mechanics have aborted their noble cause. Those brash young men of the adolescent mind-sciences are trying to reach suddenly in a couple of decades, a line of corruption that took several hundred years for the church to accomplish.

So it cannot be advised too many times that we should beware of seeking the Truth through modern Psychology. Zen, I consider to be the greatest psychoanalysis, but I use the "psychoanalysis" only to convey the manner in which Zen functions…to the best of my ability. Zen works by negating errors and false self-structures, with the aim of finding our essence.

 

Did you enjoy the Forum? Then buy the book! Beyond Mind, Beyond Death is available at Amazon.com.